Grief group an eye-opening experience

When Carla first arrived at Hospice House she felt nervous and a bit anxious. It had been a year since her daughter passed away, and though she had heard about Hospice, it took many months for her to feel ready to reach out.

Carla’s first appointment was an intake interview with our Manager of Hospice Services. She described her experience as, “The start of spilling out my emotions about my daughter.” It was the beginning of many helpful conversations that would assist her with coping with her immense grief after the painful loss of her daughter.

Some weeks later, Carla was one of eight clients to participate in a Hospice Grief Group, our in-person, eight-week workshops that provide participants with a safe space to share their feelings and experiences with grief, and to equip them with the tools that can help them cope with their suffering.

The support group consists of discussions, readings, exercises and social interaction over beverages and sweets. Each week, participants are sent home with homework for their heart, such as completing assignments or readings to help them reflect on their experiences, and be present with their feelings. Carla found the Grief Group to be immensely eye-opening,

“There were people in the group who had lost different loved ones—a sibling, a mother, or a wife—and I could relate to them. Their experience was not that much different from my own.”

Carla’s weekly support group was facilitated by trained Hospice volunteers, Esmé Stokhuyzen and Diane Head. She remembers feeling comforted when Esmé shared that someone could participate in a Grief Group multiple times, and even join the group a decade or more after experiencing the initial loss of a loved one. Grief isn’t something we just “move on” from; love and sorrow will be woven into our story for the rest of our lives.

One of the most helpful tools that Carla learned from the group was to make plans and back-up plans for important dates, “Making a plan for my daughter’s birthday or the anniversary of her passing really helps me to cope with the feelings of grief that are especially strong on those dates that are meaningful.”

Carla often thinks about the other participants in her group, especially during the Covid pandemic which has made it so difficult to connect in person. Before the pandemic, she enjoyed going to Hospice events like the Winter Tea, going for walks with her Hospice companion, Joan, and attending Threshold Choir performances, or Lighting of the Memories at Mission Point Park. These events provided her with more opportunities to meet people going through similar journeys, and they were helpful reminders of the abiding connection with the daughter she lost.

Nowadays, she likes to refer people she knows to contact Hospice, “I encourage people in my life to go to Sunshine Coast Hospice and take advantage of your services. You’ve helped me so much. It’s much easier to talk about my feelings and I’m very thankful for that.”

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