Being There for Grieving Children
How do we support children and families when their world turns upside down?
On March 31, 2023 the Sunshine Coast Hospice Society hosted a wonderful and heartfelt event whose impact continues to ripple through the community. 60 people interested in learning more about children and their families in grief attended a presentation and Q&A session at the Sunshine Coast Arts Centre.
The keynote speaker was Dr. Heather Mohan, co-founder and Executive Director of Lumara Grief and Bereavement Care Society. In a gentle and caring manner, Dr Mohan reflected on some of the most important and valuable lessons she has learned from grieving children and families in her work as a grief counselor and expressive arts therapist over the past 25 years. Through stories, she broadened our understanding of how a grieving process unfolds for children, youth and families, and expanded our knowledge of effective ways to support them considering their different ages and stages. She also talked about Camp Kerry, a family grief retreat program run by the Lumara Society. Dr. Mohan ended her talk with a beautiful and moving song which she helped a dying mother compose addressed to her children.
Following Dr Mohan's presentation, Hospice volunteer, Corinne Thorsell, led a conversation which included Kelly Backs whose son, now 17, was 3 years old when his mother died of cancer, Kaliyana Denham-Rohlicek, age 17, whose stepfather died a couple of years ago not long after his ALS diagnosis, and Bradley Thomas, age 15, whose father died suddenly of a heart attack when Bradley was in elementary school. They spoke about how their loss affected them and how they were supported as well as how the support systems failed them. With very open hearts and their own wisdom, they let us into their world of grief and what they have done to navigate it. We gained deeper insights into the experience of kids and families in grief, and we learned more about what we need to do as a community to make this journey easier for young people and their families.
The Q&A session following the panel was an opportunity for the audience to share some of their own thoughts and experiences. Questions and needs of audience members were addressed and aided by the panelists and by Dr. Mohan. In keeping with sharing our experiences and supporting one another, Dr. Mohan closed the session leading everyone in singing This Little Light Of Mine.
The evening concluded with an informal opportunity for people to connect over tea and goodies. Participants expressed how meaningful this program was for them and offered ideas for continuing support. Conversations are taking place amongst the staff at the Hospice Society about how to best serve families with children who are grieving, and what programs or supports may be developed in time, given funding and available staff resources.
Thank you to Telus for funding this event, to Peter Leitz who provided sound equipment and tech support, volunteers: Marlena Blavin, Dorothy Shaw, Donna Shugar, Corinne Thorsell, Betty Bronson, Dale Sankey, Diane Head, Patsy Green and Jan Pinkerton, and Hospice staff: Nancy Grenier, Tatiana Velasquez, Doreen George and Tess Huntly.
Kaliyana Denham-Rohlicek (pictured on the left with her late stepfather),
reflects on her experience as a panelist:
"... After two and a half years of living with grief and with the experience of watching my stepfather live and then die from ALS, I had been open to finding a way to share my story and just to be able to have an exchange with others who knew and understood my feelings.
When the event day arrived, I could feel my nerves rising. I hadn’t thought that speaking in this setting would be difficult. I was wrong. It was challenging to find the words I felt best described my experience … especially in front of an audience.
But, once I was done, I felt so comforted by the people who came up to me and thanked me for sharing my story. …"
Betty Bronson shared these thoughts following the event:
"I was fortunate to attend the recent Hospice event on Children and Grief.
While I am now a 66 year old woman, I am never far away from my little 5 year old self, whose mummy died in a car accident. At the time, the impact of death on children was poorly understood. Our mummy and all that she meant to us, disappeared. There was no comfort, no grieving. We had to somehow carry on.
The Hospice evening was special to me because I could see how much has changed since I was a child, feeling terribly alone and scared. My heart sang to see the young bereaved people surrounded by love, support, understanding, with time and space to grieve.
This evening helped inspire me to start exploring the idea of a facilitated grief group for women like me, who were bereaved as children."
Visit our resources page to view the film.