Magic happens around those trees

Thanks to coordinator Evelyn Flynn and a committee of about a dozen hospice volunteers, the first Lights of Life event on the Sunshine Coast was founded on Dec. 4 to 23, 1992 in Trail Bay Mall in Sechelt. Flynn said of working with the committee,

“[There was a] wonderful think tank atmosphere. Ideas just flowed. Never had to beg or assign a task. Someone always said, ‘I’ll do that.’” Evelyn’s husband Martin created the donation box, which the Sunshine Coast Hospice Society still uses today.”

Lights of Life invites people who have lost a loved one to write a tribute in a small card, provided by hospice, and hang it on a Christmas tree. The tree began with blue candle-shaped lights; each time a card was added, a hospice volunteer changed a nearby light from blue to white. Today, with the change to LED lights which cannot be changed, only blue lights are used. Every person who writes a card is welcome to make a donation, big or small, but this is purely voluntary.

“That [Lights of Life] is a very special time for people to be able to identify that this time of year [Christmas] is hard,” says Heather Blackwood, Hospice co-founder. “I felt a great surge of pride that this was a big initiative. We have children coming to hang the tags and starting to understand that grieving is a normal part of living when you acknowledge something tangible.”

Community member Mrs. Casey, whose daughter Debbie died in 1992, lit the first Lights of Light candle in Sechelt. The Casey family donated money to fund the purchase of this real tree; today, artificial trees are used. Debbie’s sister read a poem she’d written called “Remembering Debbie,” which included the lines “Our lives have changed forever/You’ve taught us how to live/To cherish one another/To love and laugh and give.”

“The tears running down our cheeks said it all,” commented hospice volunteer, Martha Scales.

Before week one of first Lights of Life was over, hospice volunteers had to purchase a second tree because all of the lights on the first tree were already white. Community participation was high. In its first year, Lights of Life raised about $3,000, used to coordinate and train hospice volunteers.

For Evelyn Flynn, one young participant during the first Lights of Life was particularly memorable:

“A little boy who had sung in the school choir [at the opening event in Trail Bay Mall] came back later in the week to light a light for his father who had died that summer. One girl also asked how much the tags cost. [We] told her they were free for her. She said no, she had to pay for it or it would not mean anything. She had 35 cents in her purse and insisted on putting all 35 cents in the donation in memory of her friend. The telephone man [a phone company employee] was emptying the money from the pay phone box. He put all the money in our donation box.”

Rosemary Hoare recalled how another special visitor to Lights of Life helped teach hospice volunteers an important lesson:

“A little boy came up to the table and said, “‘I’ve got a friend and he died.’ I said, ‘We have a book [about death] called Freddie the Leaf. Would you like to read it?’ [He asked] ‘Can I write a card?’ I said, ‘Absolutely.’ I sat him in the chair and gave him this little card. I said, ‘You can put it anywhere on the tree. He said, ‘I’d like to put it right there.’ He said, ‘Gee, thanks’ and off he went. Well, he came back a week or so later to show his friend his card on the tree. He couldn’t find it. The tree had been moved. We learned a big lesson. We could never, never move the trees. Children, particularly with logging — it’s a dangerous profession — are very aware of death.”

Gibsons gains Lights of Life in 1994

By 1994, Hospice added Lights of Life to Sunnycrest Mall in Gibsons. Evelyn Flynn recalled, “There were only about 30 to 35 hospice volunteers at that time, so it was a real scramble to staff the Lights of Life trees in Sechelt and Gibsons. But we did it!”

Two years later, Hospice program manager Stephen Garrett said of the annual tradition, “Magic happens around these trees. People laugh, smile, tell stories, and sometimes cry, but most of all, they light up as they fondly remember that special love.”

Evelyn Flynn reminded a Sunshine Coast newspaper in 1996 that families of those who have died are not the only ones who benefit from Lights of Life. She said, “It is such a wonderful experience for the volunteers who share in the celebration of a life, a love or a memory.”

Ever since, hospice volunteers and community members have been participating in, and sharing their appreciation of, Lights of Life in both Gibsons, Sechelt and in Pender Harbour.

By Heather Conn as part of our 30th anniversary