“Hospice has made my journey with grief feel less alone.”

When Bobbie’s husband Freye passed away after a short battle with ALS, it was mere months from diagnosis to death, not at all enough time to absorb what was happening. From a fall in the driveway in May 2019 to his death on December 5th of the same year, she watched helplessly as her beloved, engaged and very articulate husband completely lost his ability to use his hands, his mobility and speech.

Bobbie zigzagged between numbness, hoping he could somehow heal, and feeling overwhelmed by the demands of being his primary caregiver. Just a few weeks before Freye’s inevitable death at home, she decided to make the call to Hospice. Bobbie felt she needed emotional support as well as guidance on how to help Freye die, care for his body and honour his soul.

“It was a beautiful meeting with the people at Hospice and they knew exactly how to help and assigned me a grief mentor experienced with death. I was now part of the dying and grieving community and no longer had to figure it all out on my own. I’ve [since] learned that Hospice is there throughout the entire palliative stage for those with a diagnosis as well as their family and caregivers.”

After Freye's death, Bobbie was on the list to join a Hospice grief group.

“This was very early in her grieving and my sorrow had an intensity that made question how I would survive. Knowing the group would happen gave me some hope.”

The experienced facilitators created a safe space; they understood the trauma of Freye's rapid decline as well as the grief experience of others in the group. Witnessing the universality of grief and the shared experience opened Bobbie up to the acceptance that this happens to us all. We all experience loss.

“The intensity of my grief has changed over the almost two years since Freye’s passing; however, what has not changed is missing him so profoundly. Hospice has made my journey with grief feel softer, and much less alone. From that cold November day when I finally did ask for help, I continue to receive support, knowing Hospice is designed for the long haul; there is no time limit on grief. My gratitude towards Hospice is ongoing.”

Bobbie, a Hospice client who beautifully shared her story for our Lights of Life community event